Go Ahead, Make Their Day

If you’re like me, you avoid calling customer service numbers. One challenge these days is that some corporations create an online scavenger hunt to make you search for the right number to call, so finding it can be more difficult than solving the original issue. Despite these cost-cutting measures, their broken processes create problems that require human intervention. For example, United Airlines arbitrarily changed the final destination of my daughter’s international return trip. I challenge you to find “What to do when United arbitrarily changes destination” in their FAQ or Knowledgebase.

I get my best results if I call customer service early in the morning, when I’m at my cognitive peak. I always have a headset, expect to be on hold, and have a task ready to do on my computer while I wait. Just as all the redundant how-to wellness articles advise, ensure you’ve had a good night’s sleep, are well-hydrated, and have a healthy snack nearby in case your call takes longer than expected. (Have you ever read an article that advises you to do something when you are poorly rested?) I always check GetHuman.com to learn how to avoid the byzantine call center menus and speak directly to a human as quickly as possible.

I doubt that anyone grew up aspiring to work at a call center, talking to irate people and solving their problems. While it’s not as bad as being a Facebook content moderator who determines whether or not an image is too gory for social media, these folks answer calls like yours every day, with a thirty-minute break for lunch. It’s the modern equivalent of building the Egyptian pyramids or working in a salt mine.

I smile before the call starts and make a point of being exceptionally polite and asking them how they are doing. Early in the interaction, I tell them my goal is to be their best call of the day. When the call is complete, I’ll ask them to evaluate my performance. And just like that, they are transformed from an automated script reader pre-programmed to deny your request to a real human who wants to do everything they can to help you. I can almost feel the relief in their voice as all the tension dissipates. Sometimes it’s the difference between having an advocate and an adversary.

After breaking the ice, I’ll ask them personal, but not creepy, questions. “Where are you located?”, “When did you start your shift?”, or, if they are located in Texas, “Are you a Cowboys fan?”. (BTW, I hate Jerry Jones and the Cowboys). Whenever they ask if they can put me on hold, I say, “Of course, don’t stress out on this call - remember, I said I was going to be your favorite customer of the day.” I’ll interject harmless dad jokes when appropriate. When an IRS agent asked if my filing status was “married filing jointly,“ I said, “No, it’s happily married, filing jointly.”

A Budget Car Rental agent once told me that the only way to speak to someone at an actual airport location was to “call repeatedly and hang up if you get a recorded message.” I said, “I know this isn’t your fault, but do you realize how crazy that sounds?” He agreed with me. I’ve gotten Gas South to waive a reconnection fee and Amazon to accept a return past the 30-day deadline. If I do get angry or frustrated, I always make it clear that it’s not their fault and I recognize that they have a job to do. And, at the end of the call, I’ll circle back and ask them if I succeeded in my goal. They often reply with an enthusiastic yes. And then, because it’s early in the day, I’ll say, “You’ve got the whole day ahead of you - I hope all your other calls go this well.” Assuming they were somewhat competent, I thank them profusely for their time and expertise.

I started doing this to make these chores more pleasant, and found that it’s a great way to bring a little joy and light into the world. Along the way, I’ve gotten better customer service than I would have otherwise. It’s a win-win. So, when you speak to a customer service agent, go ahead, make their day.