The Afternoon Nap: It’s What Gets Me Up in the Morning
“Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, and never just lie down if you can nap.”
Eric G. SchwartzI’m not talking about dozing on the couch or in a La-Z-Boy, I’m all about full-contact napping - putting on the pjs, getting back in bed and under the covers, and breaking out the eye mask. It’s like a warm bath over my brain, a cold reboot, a cache cleaning. I wake up feeling a sense of relief, ready to take on the rest of my day.
Based on my extensive research for this post (ChatGPT), “ there does appear to be a genetic basis for why some people nap more than others. It's not just about laziness or lifestyle <cough>, your DNA may be nudging you toward that cozy midday snooze.”
While there’s no official certification, it’s safe to say that both my grandfathers were master nappers, as was my father. He never took us hunting and fishing, but he did teach us all his napping hacks, namely, excessive pillows and midday pajama wearing. My two older brothers and I were true apprentices. When I see them, we debate who is the most skilled and committed napper. Our family even had our acronym - JLA stood for “Just Lying Around,” which included reading, TV watching, but mostly napping.
Compared to identifying music brilliance like Mozart’s, it’s more difficult to spot a napping prodigy. I claim to be that once-in-a-century napping genius. From a legacy perspective, one of my biggest disappointments is that my son stopped napping at age 2 so he could greet our neighbors at the school bus stop. It was as if Picasso’s son refused to paint.
In junior high, my after-school routine included a snack while watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island, Bewitched, and I Dream of Jeannie, followed by a high-quality nap. It was a wonderful way to procrastinate, and it helped enforce my napping habit. I’d stay up later than I should have to do my homework, wake up for school, and repeat the cycle the next day. I continued this pattern through college and as an adult.
As college students taking A01 Introduction to Psychology, we were required to be subjects (i.e., human guinea pigs) in research studies. I was so excited to sign up for a sleep research study. The researcher used me to show her graduate students how to connect electrodes to my head in the least painful way possible. Sadly, I was dismissed before I got to nap with an audience, one of the bigger letdowns of my first semester. It also made me a lifelong skeptic about psychological research, at least when it's based on privileged college freshmen compelled to participate.
The best thing about retirement is the luxury of the afternoon nap. It’s not just a physiological urge - every day, regardless of how I sleep at night, after lunch, it's magic time. Despite thoroughly enjoying my days of leisure, the build-up of naturally occurring everyday stress as our country inches towards an autocracy, and our planet cooks like a meatball in a homemade marinara sauce, I plunge into a psychic hole of self-loathing, anxiety, and depression. I can escape this sense of nihilism and existential angst by going to sleep. Although I’ve been subject to anxiety and depression most of my life, I’ve been able to manage it with a cocktail of exercise (tough love), emotional eating (coddling), and the strategic use of caffeine. Writing and journaling, anti-depressants, therapy, persistence, and the perspective of growing older have also helped. But without napping? It’s the duct-tape holding my coping mechanisms together.
Rip Van Winkle is my hero and favorite fictional character of all time. I’m not a fan of the Marvel movie franchise, but if they ever made an "inaction" movie about him, I’d see it. I’ve always had an intellectual interest in sleep and chose The Science of Sleep as the subject for my AP Biology paper in my senior year of high school.
At one point in my early twenties, when I was particularly disillusioned and lost, I attended a Sleep Research Society Conference at my own expense. I interviewed for a position with a well-known sleep researcher at the time, but nixed this idea when I realized that my salary would be 90% less than what I was making. I also determined I don’t have the patience or temperament for mind-numbing research, and I’d be too jealous of my study participants to be productive.
In the early 90s, I was ahead of my time when I led an employee-driven committee to implement a Meditation Room (ne’ Napping Room, but “napping” was too toxic a concept, even for a progressive company like Quaker Oats, to embrace). My close friends send me links to napping cartoons and the latest research articles on the benefits of napping. I’m well aware of the benefits, although it’s great to be able to justify something I’m going to do anyway. You shouldn’t be surprised to learn that I use three different apps (8Sleep, Oura, and Fitbit) to track my sleep metrics, and they often give conflicting data that is not actionable. I obsess over the data anyway.
On a serious note, I’ve been diagnosed with Idiopathic Chronic Hypersomnia, which is excessive sleepiness. "Idiopathic" means “we have no idea what the cause is. Unless you want to spend tens of thousands of dollars on medical tests, I suggest you just live with it.” So, I soldier on. Are my adaptive strategies simply a disguised addiction or just a passion? Is a nap still a nap by any other name? Does it matter?
My predicament has always made me more sympathetic about people with substance addictions because I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t nap. I’m just going to enjoy it for what it is - a glorious way to spend a chunk of time in the middle of the day. Napping is an equal opportunity indulgence - once you're sleeping, there’s no such thing as a premium version. I can enjoy napping as much as Warren Buffett or Bill Gates.
I can’t talk about napping without mentioning my wife. When she’s around, and her schedule permits, we nap together. This is next-level wonderful. Snuggling during a nap is the best. Our current routine, which I love, includes us playing the New York Times Connections puzzle together.
She didn’t come into the relationship as a napping enthusiast, but has become an accomplished napper in her own right. She signed up for this - one clause in our pre-nuptial agreement stated that we could not have bedspreads, pillow shams, or anything else that would impede a nap.
Knowing that nothing stands between me and my afternoon nap gets me up in the morning.
Premium questions for you to ponder:
Do you have a passion or some activity that you enjoy a little more than you should, and that other people might say you have an addiction?
Did your family have a sacred tradition or non-conventional coping mechanism that has been passed on to multiple generations?
The Rip Van Winkle napping gene may have skipped Isaac but definitely [somehow] made its way to Daniella who was nicknamed by Daniel as “RVW” for her incredible ability to nap anytime/anyplace.
Ahhh... yet another thing we share in common, Dear Eric...
Like you, my mind gets so gunked up with complaints about reality by 3:00 PM or so, that if I didn't get my daily nap "reboot," I'm not sure I could be much use to anybody (especially myself). I also sometimes ponder if it's an addiction or a form of developmental regression or a fear-based habit for avoiding life -- however I always come to the same conclusion: I just don't care. 🤷🏽♂️🥱😴